7/30/09 - Freaking Out

***Sorry this is late - I'm blaming this one on Mojitos.***

So I got the interview schedule with my alma mater next week. I scoffed at first at the idea of a “schedule” for my interview as I thought I’d only be meeting with a handful of people. So I thought maybe a couple of hours at most, if they included a campus tour. I was really, really wrong. They have me scheduled back to back, starting at 8:30am straight through until 3pm. I am fairly sure I’m meeting with just about every single person in the non-faculty administration, including the president of the college. Yep. You guessed it. I’m totally freaking out.

Here’s why I’m freaking out. Because I have not been in this big of an interview for a job I wanted this badly in probably my whole life. Because I have been trying to break into higher education professionally for a while now and can’t quite seem to make the jump from nonprofit to higher ed. Because of this, the only experience I have in higher ed is when I was a student. And because I have been not working long enough that my confidence in my ability to tackle anything they could throw at me and prevail has dwindled. I’ve only had one client in the last year, almost completely by choice, so I feel like I’m rusty. And I desperately do not want them to see that.

So. I am giving myself through the weekend to just go ahead and freak out. Get it out of my system. And then I am going to throw myself into research and prep next week in the hopes that it will get me focused and centered enough to remember that I can do anything I set my mind to. Everyone else is already pretty sure I have this job in the bag; I just need to believe it myself. And if it’s meant to be, it will be.

I am really excited at the core of all of this freaking out. And that is definitely a good sign. That my well of confidence really is full, there under the surface. I just have to slough off this silly skin of fear and embrace it.

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