Truth for Today

“I am committed to the truth, not consistency.” – Gandhi

This is a quote that really strikes home with my heart, but not necessarily my brain. My dad taught me to be as consistent as possible. Pick something to believe in and then defend it to the death. So that’s what I’ve worked on perfecting for the majority of my life. I learned quickly that my formal logic classes in college were most useful when put to the test in a debate. I started researching the topics I felt most passionately about in my free time, just so that I’d be ready for any argument that happened to find me. I was a little obsessive. But I wanted to make sure that I was always ready to win, to prove my point. To be right.

And most of the time I did win. Who knows how right I was in the process, but I was one of the best debaters I knew. And it didn’t matter who I was debating against, friend or foe, no punches were pulled and no feelings considered.

As I’ve gotten older however, my definition of truth has started shifting as I’ve started shifting. I’m finding the ability to see the world as a black and white place is quickly being replaced by a paradigm shift. My own personal paradigm is shifting into something more fluid and defined by my journey and less by my reaction to the newspaper headlines.

Right now my truth is rooted in joy. As I allow myself to rediscover my spirit; excavate it from the years of bullshit under which it’s been, the core of it is joy. Pure, unadulterated joy. And peace. How lovely is that? I’ve always wanted to be described as lovely and now I’m starting to see it in myself. The ability to see myself with clarity is a gift in and of itself, let alone the opportunity to actually be who I am without fear.

For this moment, today, my commitment is to keep uncovering my truth and living it. Living and breathing joy. Allowing it to radiate from my being. Gently diligent instead of compulsively ruthless. Breathing in and breathing out.