3/25/09 - Day Three

“All are brushstrokes of the mind.” – Joseph Goldstein

In other words, we all make shit up all the time. We imagine so many things and then project them onto our inspiration. Also? My practice is my practice. I don’t need approval from anyone else, nor should I look for or expect it. I discovered today that much, much greater focus comes when I sit with my legs crossed in front of me instead of behind me sitting on a meditation bench or cushion. And I also am able to focus more with my eyes open instead of closed. I guess meditating with your eyes open is very in line with Zen tradition (zazen) and a specific branch of Tibetan Buddhism – I can’t remember the name right now though.

We listened to a discourse tonight that just really clicked with me. He was talking about fear and how one of the most paralyzing things we do to ourselves is to fear fear. If we can just allow ourselves to sit with it, be with it, it will most often just disappear all on its own.

Fear of not being good enough causes us to cling to the people we love and then we look to them to be the saviors of our self esteem. We need them to build us back up where we ourselves have torn ourselves down. That is a relationship built on fear.

Fear can only exist in the future. It cannot exist in the present. When there is fear it is because we have projected ourselves into the future. Fear of what will or won’t happen. Fear of who we will or won’t meet or connect with. Fear of whether we will or won’t succeed. Fear of some past this or that coming up at the most inopportune time. You name it and the mind will run freely with it.

If we can bring ourselves back to the present, we will find that there is only joy in being. The fear has evaporated. If we can exist moment to moment with ourselves, exactly where we are, there is nothing to fear and the mind is open to the journey. What a blessing!

1 comment:

sh said...

Thanks, I needed that.