Runaway

I was pretty crazy in high school. Lots of partying. Lots of drinking. A fair amount of dabbling here and there and everywhere with all things dangerous and/or envelope pushing. Because of that, when I went to college, I wasn’t all that crazy. I was actually pretty staid truth be told. When I arrived on campus, I had already stopped drinking and wouldn’t start drinking again for almost two more years. I was pretty focused and there to study, not party. I mean, yes, I stayed up way too late almost every night and went to parties, but I did it without killing anymore brain cells.

In high school, I was pretty good at just letting go and doing whatever the moment moved me to do. For better or for worse, regardless of regret come the morning light, if I needed a night of unrestrained fun, crazy or adventure that is exactly what I let myself do. Even when I did start drinking again in college, I never really got to that point again. And I gotta say that every once in a while I really miss it. The ability to just let go and be and do whatever comes next.

Which is one of the reasons why I ran away to Denver yesterday. Not only because I needed some art in my life. Not only because I needed some alone time. Not only because I needed some friend time. But because I needed to just let go and be. And I did and it was more fun than I’ve had in a long, long time. I charmed my friends into staying outside to play darts next to the chiminea when it was entirely too cold to hang out outside. I drank too much. I laughed more than I have in months. And I managed to kick some ass at the second game of darts.

It was grand. And then I woke up this morning to a whopping headache. But it was worth it. And when I called home to check on the kiddos, the guilt returned because they both had fevers. But I’m trying not to let that guilt sully such an amazing day.