Fairytale Beginning

In a land once upon a time and far, far away there was a princess. She was beautiful, but did not know it. She was strong, and only knew it sometimes. She was very, very smart and knew that all the time. But she was also terrifically unlucky in love. And this she tried very, very hard not to believe.

She had passed through the beginning of her life being surrounded by people who adored and lavished her with love. But she did not understand why. What had she done to deserve such devotion (besides being very, very smart)? So she pushed it away, hoping that it would go to someone who, surely, deserved it more than she.

And she found as she grew into the middle part of her life that she was crashingly unhappy. Which made her pause from her daily chores of tending to children, herding idiosyncrasies and bowling with routine and yell in an absurdly loud voice, “Heinous fuckery most foul!”

She found that she was quite shocked, and quite bothered, by this revelation and pondered what to do about it. And being very, very smart she thought for sure that an answer would reveal itself in no time at all. And the longer she pondered, the sadder she became. Because it was beginning to appear that the only way to alter this unhappiness was to change her life entirely.

She would have to give up her rank and all of her titles, except that of mother of course which she would never lay down. She would have to pack that which was most dear to her, and the particularly tasty cheese, bread and beverages that had arrived the other day, and walk away from her castle. She would have to face the world outside the walls without cover of armor or sword.

And so she set forth to accomplish this. She packed and pondered and murmured to herself, “Great teeth gnashing bollocks, this dress will never fit.” But fit it did and she put feet to road and carried on her way.

Hoping against hope that her luck would turn and that being very, very smart would be good enough.


mosaica said...

I have to credit Christopher Moore for the "Heinous fuckery most foul" line... :)

sh said...

Is her very very smartness not both sword and shield?

mosaica said...

Indeed it is my friend.