4/5/09 - Day Two Getaway Weekend

And yet another lovely day. I went for a long walk with my dear friend J – which wound up being up a very steep, very long hill and which kicked my ass. I’ll tell you what, when your 25 weeks pregnant girlfriend is walking easily up the same hill that has you wheezing, you know something is wrong. I guess I could blame it on the chest cold that I got while at the silent retreat, but mostly I think I’m out of shape. Must call trainer this week!!! But regardless of the wounded ego, it was really nice to be able to just hang out with her and catch up.

There is such a soul sister quality to the women who joined me for this getaway. I mean I have always felt connected to J on a deeper level and I keep having to remind myself that we’ve not really talked in 15 years or so. I have to keep reminding myself that we don’t know the majority of each other’s journey. It’s strange that it doesn’t seem to matter all that much. Pretty much as always, we are just taking each other where we are when we find each other. Pretty cool.

I didn’t even really know G that well before we came and now I just love her. Truly another kindred spirit. What a lucky find!

And the lovely L. She is such a soul sister to me. Such a grounded foundation that keeps me centered on what is important. She is such an extraordinary woman and I am so honored to have her in my life. And she cusses like a sailor, can’t get enough Mojitos and wine and laughs at all the inappropriate stuff right next to me. Such a blessing to find a girlfriend who is so willing to help me find the joy in going through such a rocky patch of road.

I do not want to go home. I know there is so much more work to do but I am afraid of the toxicity. I am afraid to go home and find myself, once again, standing still. I am afraid to go home and be alone.

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