8/5/09 - Prep

At this point I’m so tired of thinking about this interview that I can hardly stand it. I’ve spent the last week freaking out with nerves and suffering a massive lack of confidence. Today however, I’ve hit a wall. I’m almost as irritated with myself for ripping the confidence rug out from under my feet as I’m sure all of my friends are. I mean, seriously. How silly can I be? I’m done thinking and obsessing about it. I’m done wondering why I deserve this opportunity. I’m done trying to convince myself that I’m not really qualified for this position. I’m done questioning my abilities.

In fact, I’m so done with it all that I’m just not going to think about it at all until the day of the interview. All done. I’m cutting myself off from my currently preferred method of self-torture.

Instead I’m focusing on the drive there and getting together with all my friends after the interview. I usually listen to music while I’m driving, but I think this time I’ll get a couple of books on CD. The summer before I started college a couple of girlfriends and I road tripped to Michigan and listened to Anne Rice vampire books most of the way there and it was awesome. So I think I’ll find some good brain candy books to listen to on the 8+ hour drive back to my college. Maybe that dragon series that was written by that kid a while back that always intrigued me but I just never picked up. Or if I can find them maybe the Sonya Blue vampire books or the Sookie Stackhouse books. I’ll take The Girl to the library today to see what we can find. Wish me luck on getting her out of there again.

And I’m pulling together a big group of our old friends who still live around our college town for a bit potluck, drink a bunch of beer, get together the night after my interview. I’m so excited to see everyone I can hardly stand it! It’s been years since I’ve seen them all.

See? Full of excitement and reason. Isn’t that a nice change of pace?

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