11/29/09 - The Drive Home

So my mom, dad, husband and I sat down last night after the children went to bed to have “the talk.” You know, the one we’d all been dodging for the entire week? Yeah, I finally pushed the issue and asked that we all sit down to talk. “What do you want to talk about?” my dad asked. How about how you want to spend the rest of your life for starters? That led us into discussing hospice and the fact that in order to make sure my dad is as comfortable as possible we need him to be really communicative with us as to his pain level and overall state of comfort so that we can be as proactive as possible in taking care of him when we need to. Since they live so far away from town, it’s just so much better to be prepared for anything than try to figure it out as we go along in my opinion. And yes, I’m well aware that this is me trying to control whatever I can wrap my hands around in a situation that is entirely out of my control.

Ultimately, we decided that I’d go home for a few days to get some stuff done and then I’d come back the end of next week and plan to stay for as long as they needed/wanted me there. The Girl will come with me, so I’ll need to take her out of preschool until after the beginning of the New Year. The Boy will stay with my husband until he gets out for his holiday break (my dad really didn’t want him to miss that much school). My husband will come down whenever he can since he has no vacation time left. It sucks that my family is getting split up during the holidays, but such is life at the moment.

So we drove home today. And I thought coming home would be some sort of relief. At the very least a relief to sleep in my own bed. Instead I just feel like I’m in the wrong place. But I will be back where I should be soon, taking care of my daddy.