3/14/10 - Daylight Savings Time

I despise daylight savings time. Truly abhor it. It was easier to sort of ignore its existence when I was younger or even just before I had kids. Now however, it totally screws up everything. Does it make it a bit easier for the kids when it occurs on a weekend (does it always occur on a weekend?). But it seriously messes with me. Because weekends are when I get to sleep in. So I let myself stay up later. Especially when I’m totally sucked into a book and I just do not want to put it down, thinking I’ve got another hour or so to read before it’s just too late because I’m pregnant and always tired anyway. And then I remember that because of the time change, it’s actually already too late and I need to get my happy ass to bed. So yeah, I stayed up too late, way too late. In fact I fell asleep on the couch, awoke at 3am and after peeling my drool pasted cheek from the pages of said book, wondered why I wasn’t in my bed.

All of this with me thinking, well it is Saturday night. Even if I do stay up too late, I’ll be able to sleep in tomorrow and catch up. Except for frigging daylight savings time stole an hour from me. Forcing me to get up well before I was ready because it’s just not decent for a mother of two to still be in bed at 10am (especially when it’s actually 11am). The Boy looked at me like I was on crack when 7pm rolled around and I said it was time for bed because his internal clock ain’t no dummy and told him it was too early to go to sleep.

I mean, yes, we get more light in the afternoons. But I find it far more depressing to wake up when it’s still dark than I do to be eating dinner in the dark. I know that will change in a couple of months, but I’d rather just let time alone and have light when we have it than do this time tug-of-war every fall and spring. Seriously.

2/2/10 - Time Flies...

Oh, hello! It’s February! Wait, what?!? How can it possibly be February already?!? That means Valentine’s Day is only two weeks away. That means that March is really just right around the corner since February feels like such a short month. That means it is time to start researching summer activities for the kiddos. That means it is time to register them for spring sports.

I just can’t figure out how it is already February. I feel like it was just Christmas. And since it is February, that means it’s been 3 months since my dad was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer. He’s still with us, although his pain seems to be increasing on an almost daily basis. And we are all still dealing with the depth (and ramifications) of our own personal levels of denial and anger. And I’ve decided to stop fighting being such a mess and just be a mess. I have a right to be a mess! My dad is dying and my family’s financial health is utterly fucked up! It’s ok to be a mess right now. I can stop apologizing for it, I can stop denying it, I can stop pretending. It’s ok, it is, and it’s not my job to judge its relevance or convenience. It’s my job to just be with it and see what’s there. Right? Maybe I should write that on a post-it and put it on my bathroom mirror. Or, on the box of Swiss Rolls I’m currently BFF’s with.

On a lighter note, February brings with it LOST! The season premier of LOST is on tonight and I’m going to a friend’s house to watch it. This friend also happens to be the person who cuts my hair, so I’m sort of hoping (although not even remotely expecting) her to take pity on me and cut my hair while I’m there. But mostly it will be good to see a friend, have yummy dinner (I am making my famous curry pasta salad), a few cocktails and yell at the TV screen together. Anything else is just bonus.

I get a night off from cooking and my day job, that’s enough for today.

Food and Writing

Ah, civilization, how I have missed thee! Ok, that’s being dramatic. We’ve only been snowed in for a couple of days, but I’ve been completely computer and phone free during those days which almost NEVER happens, so it feels like longer. I half expected to get on the computer today to discover The Boy had started college and all of my friends were moving to Florida to retire. Instead it’s only been a couple of days and life has just kept on keeping on while I’ve been away.

My mom took The Girl and me out to lunch today at a new Greek restaurant in Farmington. And it’s the funniest thing to see how people react in this town not only to a new restaurant, but more so to a new “ethnic” restaurant. The place was packed with people oohing and ahhing over the food and the décor and, and, and! It just cracks me up. But it was yummy, and a lovely change of pace from the typical restaurant fare in town. The service was good, although I really wish cute boy servers would pay attention to the fact that all of their cutesy little one liners that they use on most patrons really only work if the customers next to your other table don’t hear you use them on someone else first. Again, it just cracks me up.

And today is my parent’s 39^th wedding anniversary. Although since they’ve been together for 41 years and this will be their last anniversary together, they’re splitting the difference and just calling it their 40^th anniversary. Seems fair to me. So I’m making them the dinner of their choice (linguine with clam sauce and Caesar salad) and another friend of theirs made them a cherry pie for dessert. So once again, we’ll at least have good food and good company if nothing else.

I’m fretting a wee bit about my story for this week. Last week’s story came so easily and has so much potential, but this week, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit. Hopefully it hits sometime soon. This challenge is proving to be a lot of fun, when I don’t have to force it.

Journalistic Meandering

Are you tired of play by play journal entries yet? Sorry. I’m just trying so hard to stay utterly centered in every moment of every day that it’s about all I have to write about at the moment. If I let my mind wander then it goes shooting into the future and starts spinning under the weight of the unknown. So I’d rather bore you with stream of consciousness than choose to go crazy. I hope that makes sense, otherwise there’s less hope for me than I thought.

I’m sitting currently in the little library in Aztec, New Mexico where I can get free wifi watching The Girl meander through tons of books and toys and semi-patiently wait for me to be done on my computer. She’s found all the princess books already and wants to bring them all home. She’s gone through the puppet closet and put on two short plays for me. She’s climbed around and on anything willing and able to hold her weight. It will never cease to amaze me how quickly my children can find themselves bored when surrounded by such a wealth of materials meant to engage and entertain them. But there she is, sitting at the little table, eyeing me warily, wondering how close together she ask if I’m done yet. So I’m hurrying through the stuff I need to get done on the computer, like writing this, so that I can get out from under her impatient eye.

Then we’ll run a couple of errands and see what else we can find to do just to keep us busy and out of the house for a bit.

I miss The Boy and my husband. They’ve been home for the past two days with snow days (The Boy’s school was closed) and I’m jealous since I wasn’t there with them to hang out and enjoy unadulterated family time. But yesterday was a good family day of a different sort, so it all evens out. Next week The Boy will be joining me here and then before I know it, it will be Christmas and then the New Year.

Time just keeps sweeping along, carrying us all with it.